Choosing to change my life and start a new season.
Hello, & welcome to my blog! My name is Tabitha & I’m a retired photographer turned avid Crossfitter. After closing my studio a year & a half ago, I’ve thought often about starting a blog to share glimpses of my life and a few things I’m learning along the way about health and fitness. So here I go, ready or not!
To start, let me share a little bit of how all this came about.
Seven years ago, my husband and I were planning our 25th anniversary trip. It was January, I think, and we decided to take a cruise that coming August. I’ve always struggled with my weight, and at that point in my life it had gotten WAY out of control. I was extremely overweight & unhealthy, so much so that it was affecting my work. After a photo session I would have to be off my feet for the next day or two because of the pain & swelling in my knees & ankles. Losing weight was something I really wanted to do before our trip, but having struggled most of my life I knew I needed help. So one day I just started praying about it. My prayer was that I’d be able to find someone that could REALLY help me, long term… not just help me work out, but help me change my way of life and the unhealthy habits I had acquired over the years. So when you hear me say that Kathy Wilson was a God-send, that’s exactly what I mean.
After googling trainers, I was able to find one that was pretty close to me so I contacted her and set up an appointment. When I met with Kathy for the first time, she did a body comp and talked to me about my goals. I don’t remember my exact numbers other than my body fat was 39%. Before then I hadn’t given that much thought to anything other than losing weight, LOTS OF WEIGHT! Kathy shared the importance of goals and how crucial it is to set them in order to know where you heading. I’m not going to lie… I wasn’t really into that, but I signed up and was excited and a little scared. I had lost & gained weight for years so I didn’t have a whole lot of confidence in myself.
After my workouts began, I realized how much I liked Kathy and that she was exactly what I needed. Her classes were tough but she knew just how hard to push. Like I said, I liked her, but I did NOT like working out…at all. I knew I needed it but it was so hard. Kathy continued to work with me & would talk about the things I needed to do to get healthy. She encouraged me to make small changes, one thing at a time & build on that. I was working out but only “loosely” watching what I ate. You could say I was being “consistently inconsistent”. I knew this and understood I needed to be more disciplined with my eating but it all seemed so hard that I skipped many of the things that I was learning would actually help me. And you know what? The weight wasn’t coming off. I would lose a pound or two, but then gain it right back. I think I worked with her for a few months before I did what I was afraid I’d do. I quit. I just didn’t think I could do it.
So, I sat at home, actually pretty depressed & that’s something I’ve never really had a problem with but I was starting to think this was just going to be my life, period. The thought of that was overwhelming.
I don’t remember how long it was that I stopped working with Kathy but I kept thinking about it and I knew if I didn’t do something, this was in fact going to be my life… and I decided that was not what I wanted. This was not the life I wanted to live. I emailed her and asked her if I could come back. I was a half surprised when she emailed me back and said, “Of course!!” I don’t know what I expected but I had quit and I felt like a failure. I was embarrassed that I had given up, but Kathy seemed excited to see me. I can’t tell you how good that made me feel. So, I started again. Kathy gave me the tools & God gave me the strength and I finally, seriously, started this journey to get healthy. My focus shifted from just getting thin to working on being healthy and feeling good again. It was much harder than I ever imagined, but also more rewarding than anything I’ve ever done. The changes started slow and I learned as I went. I’d like to say it was “smooth sailing” once I made the decision, but it wasn’t. It took time, but eventually I began to see results. And then, something happened that I never expected. Somewhere in the middle, in the mess, I started to enjoy what I was doing and I actually started looking forward to my classes.
Along the way I made lots of little changes that would eventually add up to some big ones. One of those changes was giving up the idea that I didn’t need to spend the time thinking through what I really wanted. I’m teachable but I can also be a little hard headed. (I know, shocker!) Kathy continued to coach me and talk about all the things I needed to be doing and slowly, over time I came around. First I started with working out in classes 3 days a week and tried to eat better (still not logging though…), then I asked Kathy to work with me one-on-one another 2 days a week. I started logging my food and giving it to her. Then, I bought myself a notebook, wrote out my goals, long & short term, brought it in and handed it to her. Before, she had given me a notebook to log my workouts, but now I had my own notebook. In it, I had my workouts, my food log, a skill sheet (where I tracked new skills as I learned them). I was finally taking ownership of my health. It seems silly, but it’s true, until you decide for yourself to make it happen, you can have all the help in the world but nothing will change.
While I was working out 5 days a week, I had thought to myself that when I reached my goal weight, I’d scale my workouts back to 3 days a week to maintain my weight. Once the weight started coming off, something else happened. I started getting stronger. The more I was able to do, the more I wanted to see how far I could actually go. I’ve discovered that as I go, my goals change. For me, this will be a lifelong journey. Even though I have reached my “goal weight”, I continue to experiment with my eating, not only to control my weight but to fuel my workouts. There’s always something to learn. And as for that thought about cutting my training back to 3 days a week? Now I train 6 days a week, not because I feel like I “have to” but because I thoroughly enjoy training.
There are so many other benefits though that I never expected, like relieving stress. This is HUGE! I never realized that working out is a natural way to deal with all the crazy… and let’s be real, we all have some crazy in our lives. I still have ups and downs, (who doesn’t love cookies???) but my life looks completely different than it did just 7 years ago. I look forward to getting up in the morning to train and to all the things I can do now that I couldn’t before. And I love being able to encourage other women. That’s my desire for this blog, to be able to encourage others, just as I have been by so many incredible people along this journey of mine. You’re never too old to decide you want a different life. It may not be easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is. Am I right?
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